They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
