I met the friendliest cop last night
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
