Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Also, beer. Big fan.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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