Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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