im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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