okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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