Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
