I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
