Do you still have your period?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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