That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
