New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
