How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
