shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
