RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Oh god it's open bar.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
