did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
