Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
