You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
