Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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