If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
it glows. i had to have it.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
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