I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
