I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
