I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
