: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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