No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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