ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
