You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
