Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
