Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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