How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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