dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
