go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
