If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We are two peas in an std pod
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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