dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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