Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
