i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
