Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
