Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
