Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
