i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
