she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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