just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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