Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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