I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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