I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
