There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
