I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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