Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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