What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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