I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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