you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
