I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
