He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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