your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize