I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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