its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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