I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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