After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
