bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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