you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
