the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
