he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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