Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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