hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
PANTIES FOUND
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