I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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