I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
