its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
