i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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